Freud was wrong. We don’t have a repressed, burning desire to have sex with our mother or father (at least, most of us don’t). However, it is not unusual to feel attracted to people our parents’ age, or even our grandparents’ age. Now don’t get me wrong; if you see a fifty year old man or woman with a teen-aged girl or boy, that’s definitely called taking advantage. Yet once you’ve become a mature adult, it really doesn’t matter if you decided to be with an, er, even more mature adult.
At least, it shouldn’t matter. Still, women who with older men are often labeled gold diggers, and women who seek younger men are nearly always referred to as “cougars.” Quite unfairly, men largely seem to be free from receiving this kind of social stigma, though a young man marrying an older woman might get a strange glance or two- though not if he just fucks her. What’s implied here is that our society thinks it’s perfectly normal for men to be attracted to women much older or younger than them, but abnormal for women to be attracted to an man significantly older or younger. At least, such is the double standard for heterosexuals; the LGBT community largely doesn’t seem to give a damn.
In reality, attraction is obviously a two way street. It’s normal for both men and women to find a variety of ages attractive. Certainly some students at UFV feel that way. Says one UFV male student: “It’s unfair for people to say women are unattractive when they’re older… with any gender, some people keep well with age and some people don’t. I find that I am more attracted most times to a sexy mature milf ['mother I'd like to fuck'] than some young bouncing blond with big tits. There is just something about a beautiful older woman that makes me go ‘sha-wing.’”
A female UFV student feels similarly about older males: “older men… are not necessarily “old” in the bedroom. Although a few experiences led me down a path of boring missionary position that lasted 3 minutes due to their poor stamina, some older men are kinky and high energy. In one case, when I leaned over to get a condom from this guy’s bed side table, when I looked in the drawer, he had about 10X the sex toys I did. And a sex swing! So don’t judge a book by it’s cover… as they say, older and wiser- older men generally know their way around the bedroom, and [the] female body- they can locate the mystical areas known as g-spots and the… CLIT!”
Having taken a small poll of UFV students, a whopping 41% had been attracted to people up to 10 years older than them, 23% up to 20 years older than them and 9% up to 30 years older. Over half had banged people up to 10 years older than them, 18% had banged people up to 20 years older than them and 9% up to 30 years older. Asked which of a selection of decently-kept 50+ celebs they would bang, 50% of students said Meryl Streep was the most bangable older female celeb and 18% said Kevin Costner was the most bangable male (with Sean Connery, Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen close behind).
It seems, or so I hope, that attitudes are subtly beginning to change more favorably towards generational attraction for both the sexes. Regardless, at the end of the day, it’s not any of our goddamn business who fucks who as long as it’s consensual and legal. So perhaps the next time you start to call a woman a “cougar,” you should hesitate and change it to “milf!”
Posted on 2011/03/31
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